1. Missions that require me to chop down MY trees. This irritates me for a number of reasons.
a) All of my trees have been CAREFULLY placed on my land by ME. I have placed them in a way that makes my land look visually pleasing to ME. So when you force me to chop them down, making my land look shitty, I become very angry. This would not be as much of an issue if it weren't for the fact that:
b) Replacing trees IS A PAIN IN THE ASS. Ideally, I try to replace my trees in the exact location of the old one. However, this is an issue as you can't place a new tree until you remove the stump of the old one-- and once you remove the stump, you no longer know exactly where the tree was. Greeeeaaaat. Ugh... and even once you do get the tree placed:
c) Trees take fucking FOREVER to grow back. You remember that mission you gave me last month where I had to chop at my trees 200 times?? Yeah, the new trees I bought to replace them? STILL HAVEN'T FULLY GROWN ALL THE WAY. LAND STILL LOOKS SHITTY. ME STILL PISSED OFF.
d) Why can't I be chopping away at my neighbor's trees?!!? I've got plenty of friends that don't even play the game, so they're not going to mind if I chop down some of their trees-- and if they do mind?! Well, they don't have to accept my help! So STOP MAKING ME CHOP DOWN MY TREES!!!!!
2. Missions that require me to scare bears--ergo, cut down my trees. (See above).
3. Missions that require me to sell an unreasonable amount of Adult [insert farm animal of your choice]. A good example? 80 Adult Freakin' Cows. Missions like these irritate me for soooooo many reasons.. But since explaining those reasons would be a whole other blog unto itself, I'm just going to stick to my core reason for hating these missions: I can buy all 80 of my cows and start feeding them-- but I never have any idea of when the fuck they'll be Adult Cows!!! I mean, at least if I have to harvest 300 wheat, I know I can be done in 3 days if I plant 100 wheat everyday or I can plant 300 wheat today and be done tomorrow!! But the cows?!!? Unless I already have 80 Adult Cows on my farm, (which I never do!), I'm clueless!! I mean, I have the vague notion that for each life cycle of the cow it has to be fed 3-4 times and each animal has 3 life cycles before it turns into an adult but that's just a lot of paying attention to stuff that I don't have the patience for. STOP WITH THE UNREASONABLENESS!!!
4. I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE CLICKING ON BONUS ITEMS!!!!! And normally, I DON'T click on bonus items-- because they be ALWAYS GITTIN' IN MY WAY! It's annoying!! But of course-- there's a badge for clicking on 100,000 bonus items, so of course I HAVE TO HAVE IT! Which means clicking on 100,000 bonus items and I just want to get the badge as soon as possible so I can go back to not clicking on bonus items again but it's exhausting and time consuming and it's taking forever and I don't like it :(
5. When I try to feed my animals (most of whom hang out near the barn because that was a logical place to put them) and BESS GETS IN THE WAY! Move your fucking ass! I didn't ask you to be standing there SO GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY, BITCH!
Note: Even though Hank and Fanny have also gotten in my way before, I hold them blameless. Hank and Fanny have only ever gotten in my way because I put something in their way (like 80 freakin' growing cows) because I had nowhere else to put it. But Bess? Bess wanted to live in my barn and she is an unwanted house(barn?)guest.
6. STOP ADDING ALL THESE PEOPLE TO MY LAND!! First Hank, then Bess, then Fanny, and now I've got a freakin' Doctor?! Just because most of them aren't in my way doesn't mean I want them loitering about the place!! Jacques doesn't hang out outside the Trading Post- so why do these people hang out outside of their respective buildings?!?! GO AWAY!
7. In the vein of bonus items and Bess... I also find quite frequently that my Leah avatar and husband and kids ARE ALWAYS UP IN MY BUSINESS! I'm soooo tired of hearing "Howdy!" and "Yes, Mom." WHEN I WASN'T EVEN TRYING TO FUCKING CLICK ON YOU! WHY CAN'T THIS GAME BE SMARTER?!
8. Trying to make me ask my NON-Frontierville playing friends for parts to finish my Kissing Tree. SCREW YOU FRONTIERVILLE! I didn't like having to use my hard-earned horseshoes to complete my tree, but I'd rather do that than pester friends who I know want NOTHING to do with Frontierville!!! If you want more people playing Frontierville then go and do the work yourself!!!
9. Ugh! Seriously?!? If you're going to add five different buildings in the span of a month then why couldn't you make the land expanding mission easier?!!?! I HAVE NOWHERE TO PUT ALL THESE BUILDINGS!! And it's not like I can get rid of any of the old ones!! I never know when I'm going to need them!
9 1/2. YOU WANT ME TO WHAT?! Frontierville wants me to "clear some space" on my land so I can grow some fucking wildflowers. WHAT fucking space!??! I'm still trying to buy some more land, you've added FIVE new buildings, I've got nowhere to go, douchebag!
10. Okay, maybe I exaggerated a bit.. I moved some trees around, squished in some stuff... I made the room.... SO WHERE ARE MY FUCKING WILDFLOWERS?!!?!?!?! Ugh, you've got to be kidding me... When I want thorns, rocks, and cacti all I get are grass and wildflowers... but now that I ACTUALLY want wildflowers all I get are thorns, rocks, and cacti! WTF!?
11. BOOSTS ARE FUCKING USELESS. And sooo not worth it... One boost should be good for AT LEAST 10 items!!! I mean, I really think they should be worth even more than that, but at a minumum I think 10 is a decent number-- Because, c'mon!? Seriously?! What good does it do me to only boost one animal or one crop!?!?? THAT'S FUCKING RIDICULOUS AND NOT AT ALL HELPFUL!!!!
12. The Adult Geese know and it makes me feel bad.
13. Not being able to post all of my item requests all at one time: "Sorry Pardner! We can't let you hog the mail..." What kind of bullshit is that!??! You want me to clog my wall and post every single time I level up, turn in a collection, run out of energy, clobber a varmit, visit my friends, get a new badge, and finish a mission, but I can't request 3 simple items that I actually need?!!?!?
14. When a mission requires me to purchase an item from the marketplace that I already own.
15. I get that I can only collect the bonus from my buildings once a day, but does is literally have to be 24 HOURS?! That's so irritating! I mean, I try to play around the same time every day, but life happens, and sometimes it's later than usual, and then you're just screwed for the next time you try to play earlier. It sucks.
16. Pop-up messages that slide over from the left and interrupt everything that I was doing--a little something that I like to call LEFTOVERS. Yeah, that's right! 'Cause nobody fucking likes leftovers! THEY SUCK! You wanna know what's most irritating about leftovers??!!? They ALWAYS show up at the least appropriate time!!!!
Take this leftover:
"Don't just sit there! How 'bout sending some gifts to yer friends?" Yeah... that one shows up AFTER I ALREADY SENT MY FRIENDS GIFTS. And it's not like Frontierville lets me send my friends MORE gifts just because this leftover showed up!
Or this one!
"Didja know you can hire neighbors to do extra work around the ole homestead? I'll just bet [FRIEND'S NAME] is looking for work!" Nooooo, really??!! I can hire neighbors?!?! Oh, wait, that's right.. I JUST DID YOU DUMBFUCK. And you won't let me hire anymore until tomorrow.
And don't forget:
"[FRIEND'S NAME]'s homestead needs help!" You know what? I'll cut you some slack on this one... MAYBE I DIDN'T VISIT THAT EXACT FRIEND. But after I just gone around and visited a bunch of friends--- GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE!
But what really pisses me off is when I've JUST gone to visit a friend, I haven't even DONE anything yet-- and that exact same leftover shows up!!! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? You want me to stop visiting this friend so I can go visit that friend?! What?! Is something wrong with friend A?! We don't like friend A!? Gotta go visit friend B?! What'd they bribe you or something!?!?
17. When this happens: I'm trying to click on something and at the exact same second a leftover slides into my view and it just so happens that my click was perfectly aligned with the accept button. URAAAAAAGH!!! I FUCKING HATE LEFTOVERS!!!
18. After I've helped a friend the maximum 5 times and I'm trying to collect my bonus items and a stupid leftever comes up so I can send my friend some useless gift they don't really need. I'm sorry, but the majority of my friends are past the point of needing bricks and nails, so no. I will not be sharing. Sorry I'm not a better person.
19. When I'm trying to count all the cows/wheat/whatever on my farm to make sure I bought enough and a FUCKING LEFTOVER pops up and ruins my count. Thanks a lot whoreslut! Now I have to fucking start all over again-- because thanks to you I had to move hand so that I could move my mouse to get you off of my fucking screen and now I've fucking lost my place.
20. When I'm recounting all the cows/wheat/whatever and ANOTHER FUCKING LEFTOVER pops up. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE MOTHERFUCKING KIDDING ME. I FUCKING HATE THIS GAME SOMETIMES.
21. When I'm trying to study my land because I'm trying to move something and a LEFTOVER shows up. STOP INTERRUPTING ME BITCHES!!
22. When I run out of energy and I get this: "You're plum out of energy, pardner! But if you visit a neighbor you'll get an energy bonus!" OR this: Ask Friends For Energy-- "Would you like to ask your friends to send you a free snack?" NO! I WOULD NOT LIKE TO ASK MY FRIENDS FOR A FREE SNACK!! THOSE PICKNET BASKETS ARE A WASTE OF MY FUCKING TIME! WHAT I WOULD LIKE TO DO IS GO TO MY INVENTORY AND USE ONE OF THE MEALS I HAVE STORED IN THERE!!! BUT IS THAT WHERE YOU TAKE ME?!!? NO!!! YOU TAKE ME TO A CONDENSED MARKETPLACE AND OFFER ME THIS MESSAGE: "While you're waitin for your picnic basket to show up, why not grab a meal? A nice tasty meal would pep you back up!" CANCEL X SKIP GET ME OUTTA HERE!
23. This message: "Loadin' Homestead I'll have you there in a jiffy." You lie.
24. This message: "HURRY! HURRY! HURRY!" Buy Horseshoes now at a discounted price blahh blah blah before the world ends! Oh, it doesn't say that? Are you sure?
25. Aaaaaaand this message: "Blasted internet just went all quiet on me! Let's try us a bit of a refresh." Bastards. They ALWAYS screw me over when this happens. ALWAYS.
Despite all this, I'm addicted to FrontierVille and play ALL THE FREAKIN' TIME-- as witnessed by my sprawling homestead.. I don't get it.
