You Have GOT To Be Kidding Me....

1. When people do not already have their deposit slip filled out.

2. When people do not already have their deposit slip filled out and expect ME to do it for them.

3. People who do not know how to fill out deposit slips and don't care to learn.

4. When I give a spanish speaking person a deposit slip and he gives it back to me with a shrug, like, "I don't know english, so I can't fill this out....." IT'S WRITTEN IN FUCKING SPANISH TOO, YOU MORON! RIGHT NEXT TO THE FUCKING ENGLISH. CUT THE BULLSHIT!

5. How the fuck am I supposed to get referrals when half the fucking people that come in don't even speak English!?!?! This is AMERICA people!!! If you're going to fucking move here, learn our language!!!!! Urgh!

6. (Backstory: When a person cashes a check, all their ID info goes on the back of the check. If a person is depositing a check, but is also getting cash back, the ID info goes on the deposit slip instead.)

When a customer hands me a check and says, "Cash," , and I've just finished writing down all their ID info, and THEN they say, "Oh, and can you deposit XYZ dollars?"

7. When people tell me the reason they can't fill out their deposit slip is because they forgot to bring their glasses... It scares me to think how you got here today.

8. When people want to withdraw money and they don't have any identification on them.

9. When people get mad at me for requesting two forms of ID. DUDE! What is the big deal!?!? Why are people so stingy with their second form of ID?!!?!!? It's not like I'm asking for your first born son! I'm not asking for DNA, fingerprints, or even a pint of blood. I just want something else with your fucking name on it-- not because I think you're suspicious... but because THOSE ARE THE RULES.

10. When people get mad at me for requesting PRIMARY ID. WTF!??!? Are you fucking kidding me!?!?!?!!?! I've never met you before a day in my life and you think I'm going to just hand out hundreds of dollars because, "Oh, ''Everyone' knows me here." I don't fucking know you!!!!! You are in front of ME!!!!! Oh!! And MAGICALLY, you can't point out ONE FUCKING PERSON WHO KNOWS YOU EITHER BECAUSE NONE OF THEM WORK HERE ANYMORE. (YOUR WORDS, NOT MINE). So, SERIOUSLY?!!?!? Do you really want to go there?!?!?! Just because you've been banking with us for twenty years does not make you special. Hand over your ID just like EVERYONE ELSE.

P.S. If someone HAD stolen your identity and the the teller DIDN'T request ID... don't even try to tell me that you wouldn't have been ALL OVER THAT. So, stop being a douche!

11. When people have NO ID, don't have their ATM card, don't know their SSN, and they still think I'm going to give them money. Good luck with that.

12. Damp money. Ew.